First Date with Mr Calvin Klein.
my date with ck.
he's 24,
a scorpio.
it's gonna be a long entry..
(oh yea, this entry cannot be shown to anyone else other than the 5 of us alright!)
coz there are some contents that i haven't even told my parents..
--
It was I who asked him out,
coz i wanted to see whether we could at least work out a friendship before anything else.
so far,
we had only seen each other at work for about 2 weeks?
he worked in the back bar and we just exchanged small conversations.
then he started to nick name me 'jessica alba',
for whatever reason i don't know,
but the rest of the bartenders followed.
before he left for Zouk, we exchanged e-mails,
that's all.
My only impression of him then was that he was a very lame-but-funny joker.
then he left ritz-carlton.
-
after that,
this other bartender, ShenPeng,
kept asking me whether i was keeping in contact with CK,
but randomly.
but it was weird lah..
then one day, ShenPeng asked me whether i knew why he kept asking me whether i was in contact with him.
obviously i didn't.
ShenPeng then told me that when CK was still around,
CK kept telling telling ShenPeng that I was very nice and good and stuff like that..
i only felt weirdness.
haha.
coz when i stepped in ritz, i only wanted to concentrate on working hard for the 2 years.
i never hoped for anything else.
and the fact that within the 2 weeks that me and CK knew each other, we weren't close or anything.
so yea.
-
i then thought about it for awhile..
i mean, CK didn't really keep contact with me after leaving either.
so what does that mean?
ShenPeng also told me that when CK left, he regretted not taking my number.
what am i supposed to think again?
-
so one day, I saw CK online..
i mustered the courage to just go for it.
part of that courage came from reading my horoscope.
haha! so dumb.
i started chatting with him and stuff lor..
then on that first online conversation,
we exchanged numbers..
he said that if I wanted to go watch Simpsons, i could call him.
it didn't feel like anything special though.
like friends just exchanging numbers.
but i was also thinking whether he was 'too-experienced' to be able to speak so 'smoothly'..
-
i gave the simpsons movie a miss.
call it the mind games of dating,
i didn't want to accept the first outing so quickly.
but i really wanted to watch the movie though.
haha. so dumb again.
-
we stopped contact for a while after that,
and i was thinking that he could just be trying his luck with the movie,
and when i rejected,
he just gave up or smth..
-
ShenPeng then asked me soon after,
i told him that we didn't contact already,
like maybe coz CK was busy or whatever,
then just forget it.
ShenPeng then told me,
"don't worry, i'll talk to CK. Leave it to me."
haha.
--
I met ShenPeng a few days after,
and he told me that he lectured CK,
saying, " How can you treat a girl like that. How can you make a girl wait for you like that."
I was pretty touched,
i mean, i wasn't very close to ShenPeng either,
for him to do smth like that..
-
late 1 night after work,
i recieved a msg from CK,
apologizing about stuff and telling me that he was busy.
after that,
we then started msging and stuff,
then the little sweet msgs started coming in all of the sudden.
it felt weird again,
because it was like so easy for him to msg sweet msgs like 'i miss you' and stuff.
it makes you think whether this guy is trustworthy,
he could just be another sweet-talker.
hmm..
-
so i decided to just ask him out,
kinda like to see whether stuff can work out between us..
we decided to meet after work at cineleisure for dinner then 'Rattatouille'.
i was much earlier and waited around and stuff.
was quite bored actually,
and it was so crowded,
and everywhere you turned,
you see couples, after couples and more couples.
pretty sickening,
and i was thinking that i should tell jeys that we should never go to orchard on the weekends,
it's really demoralising.
haha.
-
we talked a lot during dinner,
oh yea.
and i realised that he wasn't really tall either,
coz i wore small heels at about 1 & 1/2 inches,
and we were about the same height.
i felt pretty bad about it.
didn't want to out-tall him on our first date.
haha!
-
he seems very truthful,
he told me all about his past relationships..
that he got his heart broken very very badly in his past relationships,
coz he really put 200% into every one of his relationships.
if i remember correctly,
he has 4 past relationships,
then he told me that he has had sex with his 3rd girlfriend,
only her.
coz it just happened..
a bit disappointed.
and that he used to drink a lot,
and when he's in a bad mood and drunk, he hits himself,
but no one else.
and that he's cut down on drinking a lot already.
-
then halfway through the meal,
he suddenly told me that he wanted to get those huge tatoos on his back,
a picture of a scorpion.
coz he really liked the traits of the scorpion.
but he wanted to know what i though of it first.
i told him honestly that i wasn't into those stuff.
and he said okay..
-
on my side of the story..
i dunno whether it's coz he's too experienced or what,
but he's very truthful..
and seems sincere enough..
i mean, who doesn't have a past?
i feel like giving him a chance to start over new.
kinda like completing him, making him a better person.
but will he really change for the better?
coz he told me stuff like he's not ready yet,
and that he really wants to make it right this time.
to give ourselves time..
-
for the past few weeks after that first date,
we're still msging..
and he's sending me stuff like 'thinking of you..' and 'xiang ni..'
i feel very confused.
i called him yesterday night and asked him.
what is it you actually want?
you tell me stuff like you really like me,
that you're really comfortable with me and stuff..
and then you tell me we should give ourselves some time.
THEN you msg me stuff like 'thinking of you' and 'i miss you'.
what are we?
what is the thing between us?
-
he told me that he really doesn't know what to do..
he really likes me,
but he's afraid that he can't be the best boyfriend,
and that he doesn't want to hurt me in the end.
that he's not ready.
and that i could just reply him as a friend status.
that i could just take it like he's chasing after me.
'wad the hell?'
was the only thing in my mind.
i really hate for things to be hanging like this..
i hate it.
i hate not knowing what status we are,
i hate being in the gray sector.
can't we just make everything clear and make decisions?
-
and on the other hand..
ivan and jeremi are trying very hard to come after me..
they keep msging and calling me.
i told them that i've already someone i like..
but ivan keeps telling me to give him a fighting chance.
he's 21 btw.
and he really is very sincere and sweet.
he always calls and msg me..
whenever i flip open my phone..
it's all ivan.
not CK.
it really kinda makes the heart sway..
it's bad i know.
but with CK not defining what we are..
no sense of security.
and ivan trying so hard..
i find myself wanting to ivan a chance.
Ivan really knows what he wants at least..
and he makes everything very clear.
why can't CK be like that?
--
so you know,
i'm actually in a very confused state.
--
i'm willing to give my best with CK,
but what's holding him back?
the feeling that he's not able to give me the best?
1:54 PM
eLaINe--loves--laopos
oooo we have not be updating ahh!!!~
hehe..
i m here to jot down how did we celebrate national dae..
=DD
met jolyn,yingjia,shufang laopos for lunch.
den went to jurong east kbox.
had the national day package,
but each of us need to bring red things.
jolyn-big voodoo doll
shufang- small voodoo doll
yingjia- herself (actually is red shirt la)
me- jolyn's red hair rubber band
sang from 230 to 530
onli $9 each.
cheap cheap..
jess didn't join us coz she had family outing..
but joined us after tt at yj's hse.
hehehe.=))
watched ndp tgt for e first time i guess?
although the show was quite boring as some parts..
wat's most impt is each of us de companion
and we slacked after watching the parade.
at yj's hse..
i've been thinking..
sometimes, we may run out of things to do..
run out of activties
or be it juz slacking at some places..
it may be boring,
but i believe it's each of de presence which makes the outing/gathering heartwarming..
duno whether u all understand wat i've said.
but i just want to sae,
no matter how busy we may get in the future,
with attachment or work or studies
or whatever tt happens..
one thing for sure:we will always have one another in our hearts.
从昨天 到今天
还有明天
感谢老天让你们陪在我身边
and..last of all..
因为有你们的拥抱我很放心
^--this is really very true!!
**爱死你们了!!**
6:14 PM
